Simple Musings

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Turning the Page

I will be half a century old tommorrow. How did this happen? Was I asleep? Fifty is not necessarily a magical number, just a milestone that we humans seem to need to keep track of life segments. Time to reflect and regroup.
Watching internal slide shows of the past is not always pleasant. Good times and bad, though, need to be viewed in order to learn and plot out the second half of the book. Do I need a change the ending? Can I ? Maybe.
The first half of my life has been spent growing up, raising children.....doing what I thought was proper for others. There is certainly nothing wrong with this, except, where did "I" go? I have forgotten who I am. I know that this is certainly not a new phenomenom, but it is a shame.
I have spent my time wondering: should I be smarter, be prettier, be richer. As I actually wrote this, I began to notice a pattern. I have concentrated on intelligence, looks, and wealth, but I missed the main part of the sentence. The word "be". It is glaring at me now! What a revelation! And what a waste of precious time.
I have all of the time in the world now. I can do something about "pattern thinking". I am smart enough. I made it this far didn't I? Yes, I made some awful mistakes. I have paid and learned from them. I look like I am supposed to look (what a concept!), and I have all that I need. That only leaves the tiny word "be". That shouldn't be so hard, right? We all know better.
It is extremely difficult to silence the productions of our brain. People demanding. Bills waiting. The unexpected occuring. Life fast-forwarding by. Pause! The most important control in the universe. Take the time to breathe. I don't really have to sort it all out. Most of the things we actually worry about will take care of themselves, so worry just slows down the process. Since I don't really have fifty more years, I don't really need the interference. The show must go on..................... and I am not the understudy anymore!

1 Comments:

  • At 7:16 PM, Blogger Jim said…

    Good thoughts for everyone...

     

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